i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
and she was petting her beer can
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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