and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
