I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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