you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
