I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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