a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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