Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
