If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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