yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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