Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
