So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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