I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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