I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
