remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
This is classic penis vs brain.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
