Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
