Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
