he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
She announced her abortion via fbk
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
