The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
