I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
