im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
