My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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