did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
