her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
