My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
