I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
