ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
