I'm lost and stupid without you.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
nutella sex= disaster
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
