i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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