I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
