Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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