Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
