my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
