yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
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i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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