He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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