I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize