I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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