we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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