From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
