LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize