i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
