I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I could fuck to npr.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
