Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
