Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize