I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
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