would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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