Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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