I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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