man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
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I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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