I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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