He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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