I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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