My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
