imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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