I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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