You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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