New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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