That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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