you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
