she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
