Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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