do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
