I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
