Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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