Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
