why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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