Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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