he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
My pussy is not your playground.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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