Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
